The award-winning Nollywood actress, Toyin Abraham, has shared her thoughts on the institution of marriage.

In a video she shared on her YouTube channel and monitored by Saturday Beats, the ‘Alakada’ star noted that marriage had no manual, adding that what worked for a person might not work for another. She said,

I want everyone to know there is no manual for marriage and we are not going to get married to the same man. Even if we get married to the same person, we don’t have the same attitude. Marriage counselors will only tell you the things necessary in life. We must be patient. My husband is Kola but I cannot tell you how to live with your own man― someone I have not lived with. Even a man that marries more than one wife would not treat them the same way. The way the wives relate to their husband will also be very different. I cannot tell you about marriage but the two things I can tell you will help you not only in your marriage but in your relationship right now.

You need to be patient (because) sometimes, our husbands can be annoying. To stay married, your patience must be topnotch. Secondly, you have to respect your man. I am an African woman and I am also educated though I might not be as learned as some people. You have to respect your man. Lastly, your marriage has to come first. These are the things that are important even while relating with other people. I usually tell people that marriage is very sensitive. Sometimes, when marriages crash and people advise the couple to ‘move on’, they think it is very easy to move on.

You think it is easy? Marriage is deeper than what a lot of people out there think. You need to be submissive and respect your husband. I cannot say much about marriage because it does not come with a manual. I might marry a particular man and he might behave badly to me and another person could marry the same man and he might be good to her. I am still young in marriage but what has been working for me is that I respect and honour my husband.

Justin Nwosu

Justin Nwosu is the founder and publisher of Flavision. His core interest is in writing unbiased news about Nigeria in particular and Africa in general. He’s a strong adherent of investigative journalism, with a bent on exposing corruption, abuse of power and societal ills.